An Open Letter to PNM’s
PNMs,
There are thousands of you going through sorority recruitment right now across the southeast. Some of you, I know and care about personally. Others I will never meet. It may seem like each girl has a totally different reason for going through: she wants to get involved on campus, she wants to go to parties, she’s only doing it because her mom did. And sure, every girl has different variables that led to her signing up, but at their core everyone is doing it for the same reason: to make friends. Coming into college is incredibly overwhelming and lonely, even if your school is in the same place you grew up (like it was for me). Rush is a – seemingly—guaranteed way to make friends fast.
The active sisters know this, they were wanting the same thing not long ago. They are going to do all they can to let you know you can find those friends there, with them! They will tell you stories about the friends they found, the organized events where they met them, and how they all share closets because they’re just that close!
Then occasionally, one of them will say something else.
Something about Jesus.
For many of you, this is the most welcoming message of all. Please come in, I’m a loving faithful Christian and the lord is telling me that you were meant to be an Alpha Gamma Delta. Praise be His name!!! There are, however, some of you that this will not be welcoming to. Instead, it will be more like a giant “NO TRESSPASSING” sign falling on your head during pref.
An uncomfortable fact of life is religion and abuse are intertwined. There are going to be girls, without a doubt, that have been abused, bullied, alienated, assaulted, and more in religious spaces now going through rush. College may be their first opportunity to get away from that space.
I was one of the girls it was not welcoming to. Whenever a girl in a party told me something about how her “walk with the lord had improved so much since rushing blablabla” it made me want to rip tufts of my hair out and curl up crying on the chapter room floor right then and there. It felt hopeless. Like if I wanted any chance of fitting in at this school then I needed to grit my teeth and let some 30-year-old dude-bro pastor dunk my head in an unplugged hot tub in the name of Christ.
The point of this letter is to tell you that is not the case.
If you are going through rush right now, wide eyed at the infinite friendship possibilities but discouraged by the incredibly saturated religious propaganda that gets pushed in every chapter room, it will be okay. You do not have to be “saved” to have a fulfilling experience at Auburn University or in its Greek life.
If it’s what you want, push through. You will find girls who think like you and recognize your good qualities without measuring them against your supposed eternal fate. You will share closets because you’re just that close, and cry with them on the hall floor, and carry them home after a bad night downtown. You will find sisters in life, not just in Christ.
And try – even though sometimes it is very VERY difficult – to recognize that even the girls pushing Jesus on you in each party genuinely believe that it is the best most welcoming thing they can say to you. They are trying to extend a kindness even if it completely misses the mark.
Sincerely,
A not-religious former sorority girl who freaking loved all four years.
